As some of you know, our family has doubled in less than a year from a family of three to a family of six. On December 20, 2012 God added two sisters to our family. On December 6, 2013 God added a baby boy to our family.
I'm tempted to ask God what He was thinking doing that, but I can't question God's character. He does not make mistakes.
With that being said, this newest addition and transition has been physically exhausting. This baby seems to have gotten every little baby sickness possible, all while throwing up the majority of his food during the day just to not be able to sleep at night because he's tired and in pain.
On top of that, our poor sweet girls have had to go through more emotional trauma that would break any normal persons heart completely. But God made our girlies resilient. Either way though, it's been tough emotionally to handle the stress that has come from their trauma.
After four months of these difficulties....I think I finally broke.
I felt lost, abandoned and alone. I had no clue why God would be putting us through these trials.
The weight felt unbearable.
And then I read Psalm 66: 5, 8-12
"Come and see what God has done, He is awesome in His deeds toward the children of man . . . Bless our God, O peoples; let the sound of His praise be heard, who has kept our soul among the living and has not let our feet slip. For you, O God, have tested us; You have tried us as silver is tried. You brought us into the net; You laid a crushing burden on our backs; You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water; yet You have brought us out to a place of abundance."
This encapsulates everything that we are feeling right now. There is a crushing burden placed on our backs. We are being pushed through fire and water. YET, despite of it all, God has, and will continue to, bring us to a place of abundance.
Sean and I have been talking so much lately about this crushing burden we've been asked to carry. I'm not always sure why, but after reading these verses, we are so honored and so loved that He would choose to test us. To try us. To refine us for His holy purpose. I am so honored thinking that He has chosen us to love these littles who are the least of these. Who everyone else might give up on. Yet God has given them to us because He knows we won't give up. He will bring us to the place of abundance because of the testing and refining He has put us through.
P.S. If you would like to donate to our foster care agency, you can go here.
"A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me."